Transforming your Students' Writing from Blah to Bling! Part One

                    
                                         By Bill MacDonald/The Write Prescription          
Do you feel like you are reading the same story/essay over and over in your classroom as you are grading student compositions?  Perhaps you find yourself falling asleep out of boredom!?  That's what happened to me that caused me to come up with my Blah to Bling activity. 
See if you can relate: 
     I had the opportunity to score a set of papers for an entire campus several years ago, and the prompt the students were given was to write a composition about a surprise.  Now, I want to be clear --  I am not exaggerating when I write that out of 95 papers, 65 were about a surprise birthday party.  Let's pause a moment to let that sink in - That is 68% of the students! 
     Another campus I helped in this way had asked  their students to write about a moment when they were proud.  Well, two days before that prompt, these students had taken benchmark tests in Reading and in Math. Guess what about half of the students were proud about... Passing their tests!  Here's  a summary of what most of the essays looked like:
Have you ever been proud? I have.  This week our class had to take some tests in Reading and Math.  I was nervous.....but my teacher told me, "YOU CAN DO IT!"  So I said...."Okay, I'll do it!"  So I studied and did my strategies, and tried my best....and I was proud.....I hope you liked my paper, and I hope you give me a good grade.  NO, I DIDN'T, AND NO, I WON'T! 
     On both prompts, the responses that were based on writing about a birthday party or passing of some tests were almost always carbon copies of each other.  I felt like I was reading the same paper over and over...... the games, the cake, the presents, the piñata, the pizza, etc., etc., etc. 
     Here's one last example.  I was hired by my own district to score about 400 papers two different times one year. The first prompt was: Write a composition about finding something special.  On over 100 papers, the special thing they found was treasure, after which they immediately went to the mall to buy just what you would expect them to buy. This drove me crazy as a grader!  I began to realize that teaching kids the importance of brainstorming and planning BEFORE a rough draft or final copy is allowed to be written.
      If you have experienced anything like I have written above, try this very simple activity below   with your students. It will open their eyes and minds at the same time!
 1.  Ask your students to think about the first restaurant that comes to their mind when you  mention a certain type of food. The first item you will shout is, "Hamburgers!" 
They have just one second to respond ORALLY and must say the first place that comes to their heads.  The answers are usually split between McDonalds and Burger King, with a few people picking other popular hamburger based restaurants. 
2.  The second item you will say aloud is, "Pizza!"   Once again, they must respond ORALLY within one second.  The most popular restaurants mentioned will be Pizza Hut with adults, and child friendly places like Peter Piper Pizza with kids.  Rarely does anyone pick something else when only given one second to respond.  I have probably done this activity over a hundred times in presentations to teachers and in student trainings.  The one exception is a popular pizza or burger restaurant exclusive to your local city. 
   The reason this seems to happen is that, unless trained to unlearn this trait, children will almost always exclusively write about the first thing that comes to their mind after hearing or reading a prompt.  That's how their brain is triggered to work! It's kind of like the popular saying that water takes the path of least resistance.  Why rack my brain if there is an easy idea to write about concerning the topic on the tip of my tongue!   The MAJOR problem with that is that whatever came to THEIR minds is the same exact thing that almost everyone else thought of when responding to the prompt!  That’s a lot of repetition of ideas if we’re talking about your students turning their essays in to be read by a committee in an entire district, region, or state!
3.  This last part of the activity will help your students begin to think outside the box.  You will ask them to think about a specific drink, but before anyone can answer, they have to think about what all the others in the room might say or write for at least one minute, then come up with an original idea. When someone responds with water or coke, you will know they didn't put much thought into the topic. Tell your kids that if they are going to mention a Kool-Aid, they have to think of a specific flavor.  For sodas, maybe one can be mentioned that is not in every soda machine in America!  A tea has to have a special name. Energy drinks have to have a particular brand or type.  The trick here is to think outside the box. If you give them until the next day to come up with their answers, they can go down the drink section of their local grocery store, and write down a few drinks they think people don't drink everyday.  Maybe there is a restaurant or store that is the only place in the world that serves that drink. Think about a snow cone stand that serves unique liquid or somewhat frozen beverages.....I learned about a special drink called a Strawberry Trolleybus (Spanish term) that is absolutely delectable!  It is a mixture of blended ice, fresh strawberries, and some sort of cream.  My favorite normal drinks to share are a Grape Slush Frosty from our local Stars/Sonic Restaurant, and a venti-Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks!  Anyway, once your kids feel they have come up with one or two original/unique ideas for drinks, have them write them down on a piece of paper without letting anyone else see.  When everyone is ready, have them take turns sharing their best idea with the class.  If someone else says their first choice, they can share their backup idea.  You will notice that there are a lot more variety of drinks that are shared compared to the numbers of burger or pizza restaurants.
       Just a caution here:  Some of your kids have parents or older siblings who openly drink alcoholic beverages at home, so you may get some strange answers using names of beer or hard liquor.  To prevent this, you might need to mention that these types of drinks are off limits for the assigned task!   
       I have never had more than two or three people in an entire room come up with the same exact drink, and at times I have had close to a hundred people participating! By the way, I’ve discovered that there are quite a few drinks out there with very original names!
     In part two of Transforming your writing from Blah to Bling, I will explain how to apply this concept to actual ideas and experiences.   Bill
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How to Turn Their Horns into Halos.....See them as the Super Heroes they COULD Be

There is an imaginary wire that connects our hearts to our heads.  For
some students, someone or something has cut that wire,  causing an
emotional and mental disconnect. This could be from something simple like parents getting a divorce, a financial crisis, or the death of a family member.  Other times it could be some form of physical/verbal abuse, or involvement with gangs or drugs.  Let me give you a few real life examples:  After teaching for seven years in a neighborhood school, I moved to a school that had several families involved in gangs.  In my very first interview with my new principal, she informed me that one of my students was just returning from spending the entire year in an alternative center. His 3rd grade teacher upset him so much that he brought a loaded gun to kill her.  This frightened me, and I wasn't at all sure I was up for the task.  She felt that I might be able to make a difference as a male role model, because this child had no father in his life.  Another year, a  student expressed his anger in a different way.  He grabbed his chair/desk, flung it at his teacher, and hit her right on the head.  She was rushed to the hospital and it was discovered she had a concussion.  These were just two of dozens of examples of the types of students I was blessed with, so I  knew that I needed a way to reconnect that wire, and realized that would only be able to happen if I was able to connect with their hearts by showing that I cared about them.  It would be only AFTER that took place that  they would allow me to eventually connect to their minds to re-engage the desire to learn.   There is never ONE exclusive method to help difficult children, but changing the way I looked at them was where I knew that I would have to start.  This activity below helped immensely.
                                                              Super Heroes as Students
     Since most children and even adults love all the super hero movies that are coming out, I wanted them to take a closer look at the most popular ones to discover that even they could have had some bad habits they needed to overcome.  We tried to imagine a BEFORE and AFTER of what they might have been like as students before a wonderful teacher came in their lives. They just needed a little guidance on how to overcome their weaknesses so that they can focus more on their strengths. Here is a quick summary of my favorites that we came up with together!
Super Man-  a great student, but is weak around kryptonite. He just has a few bad habits that he needs to break
Batman- He spends too much time in the dark, and keeps others there as well.  
Robin-  When you think of Batman, you think of Robin...always. Are your friends and surroundings keeping you from being a good student? He needs to spend more time with Batman and less time with the Joker!
Incredible Hulk-  He once wasn’t incredible.........he used to have a violent out of control temper, anger issues if anyone messed with him. If you struggle with this, you usually justify it by saying you’re standing up for your rights....
Flash- ADHD  a little too hyper....live wire....out of control
Spider Man- lives in a web of confusion
Spider Woman- distracted by Spider Man and  other boys
Mr. Fantastic- Stretch.....flexible becomes compromise
Invisible Woman- You can’t find her when you need her....for work or she's absent.
Human Torch-  You’re always having to put out his fires....
Thing-  He’s very hard headed and hard hearted
Captain America-  the star....he always needs to be the center of attention and wants you to tell you how awesome he is, or how much you need him.
Space Man- Instead of using his imagination to go where no man has gone before....he allows his mind to wander...always getting distracted by the cares of the world.
Peace Man-  Sometimes compromises truth in order to not rock the boat, in order to get along and make peace
Tony Romo-  When the pressure is on, he chokes.  You can’t rely on him to be dependable when you need him.
Police man-  Instead of fighting crime, he always want to fight with everyone,
Thor- always has to be playing with something....uses a weapon....sometimes it is his words. Often he uses your past against you.
Iron Man- Such a hard exterior, he doesn’t let you into his heart to see what he’s really thinking...he tries to act like everything is perfect so that he appears in control.
Hawkeye-  He sees and points out all your weaknesses and hits the bulls eye, but is not nice about it.
Black Widow-  lots of weapons at her disposal to hit you with or throw at you, pencil, wads of paper, her shoes, books
Wonder Woman-Lasso of Truth, but more worried about jewelry and outward appearance 
Under Dog- doesn’t take his pill sometimes...
Pop-Eye   He loves YOU but is very jealous of other people
Wolverine- Heals quickly but too often the claws come out
There are many other super heroes not mentioned above, but these were the ones we thought of together.
               To bring the lesson more to life, I went to our local costume store and purchased about 15 of the hero costumes above and allowed the kids to put them on in the class as we discussed them.   Since my classroom was set up with four or five students at each table,  each group got to decide which super hero name they would have for that month.  Whichever team did the best on homework, classwork, participation, and any other important classroom activities for that month would be taken out to the movies, bowling, miniature golf, or whatever other reasonably priced activity they chose.  This would cost me about 20 or 30 dollars out of my pocket each paycheck, but the resulting improved effort in the classroom was well worth it!   I honestly feel that if we would stop asking the teacher from the previous grade level to look at our rosters, it would give kids a clean slate.     
     Anyway, our students need us to see them as the "Super Hero" they have the potential to be, not the bad person that they think they are or who someone told them that they were or would become.  When given a fair chance, they will amaze us.  They sometimes only need ONE person to
believe in them and their potential.
  P.S. The student who brought the loaded gun to class is now a successful adult and has a great job!

Formula versus Structured Writing: Understanding the Difference Using our Bodies

There is a lot of confusion out there regarding the difference between the organization of structured writing compared to formula writing.  I would like to share my two cents worth on the topic using the human body below as an analogy. 

My little friend to the left is called Space Boy!  The illustration shows all the information below, but I will list them anyway just in case the image is not clear on your viewing device.
His head for the analogy will represent the introduction.
His neck will be the transition to the body.
He is wearing a blue shirt which will be the start of the event in the body.
He is also wearing green pants, which can either represent the 2nd event or responding to the prompt, depending on grade level and the amount of lines available for writing.
For this picture, one page represents approximately 26 lines.
Everyone has a waist, so that or the belt would be the transition between the green and blue ideas/events.
In order to transition to the conclusion, it is understood that he is wearing socks.
Finally, his shoes represent the conclusion.
Okay!  Let's get this body started! 
Structured writing has specific types of details that are in each part of the essay.  You can name all your students by name very quickly by looking at their face.  How is that possible!!!!! They all have eyes, ears, noses, chins, hair, and  eyelashes/eyebrows.  It is because most of the parts look different that you can tell them apart!  This is what STRUCTURED writing is like....We all have the same structure, but vary in colors, shapes, and sizes!   So you can still guide students to include a who, what, when, where, why, and weather in their introductions, but will train them to using different details in their outlines and rough drafts to represent those details.
       Formula written introductions on the other hand, make students beginnings look like twins, triplets, and 22lets! :-)  Some examples of this are:  Hello, my name is, One hot day, One cold day,  In this story I'm going to tell you about, or a question that restates the prompt exactly.
      Our bodies also look different in terms of size and shape, so depending on the ability age of your students, you would need to expect a different amount of quality and/or quality from the essay.   Each student shouldn't have x amount of lines for this and x amount for that.   For example, a 10 year old functioning at a 6 year old ability level cannot produce the same product as another 10 year old working at a 12 year old ability level.   The way we would look different in the space boy picture is that some students quantity of details would look like a long sleeve shirt and pants when they are on  or above grade level, while others kids who struggle might look like shorts and a tank top!
     If we only teach kids to use the same basic transition words between ideas like 1st, 2nd, 3rd, then, and finally, it would resemble each child wearing the same exact necklace, belt, and socks as everyone else in the class.  I understand that when children are first learning how to write, simple transitions are needed, but please graduate those who can to more effective transition words and phrases as soon as possible.
     Almost done....hope you're still with me!  Look at your shoes for a moment.  If you're not even wearing any, it's like forgetting your conclusion on the essay.  I call that "Whiplashing the Reader!"  You just suddenly stopped right in the middle of the story because you got tired, ran out of time, or ran out of space.  If your conclusion is there, but is only a restatement or summary of everything you've already written, that would be considered formula writing.  Think of conclusions like DESSERT for a moment.  Repeating things you already wrote is like giving the reader leftovers and not dessert.  No conclusion at all would be like a DESERT.  There's nothing there!
      A strong effective conclusion would look like the vast variety of shoes worn by all the students in the classroom....all unique....most somewhat different.  For a fun but perhaps smelly way to introduce creative conclusions to your students, have them all take off their shoes and place them in a pile in the middle of the floor and go stand against a wall.  When you give the signal, they are to WALK to the pile, put their own shoes back on, tie/Velcro them , then return to the wall.  Normally kids in mid to upper elementary grades will be able to accomplish this without too much chaos.   They will discover that the main reason they were able to put their OWN shoes on was that they all looked a little bit different.  NOTE: I went to one school last week where this activity wouldn't work because in addition to having matching uniforms, the students all had to have matching socks and shoes as well!
     It is important to understand that when I write about structured writing that is creative and unique, I am not talking about August!  These are end of year goals!  If we can't graduate from formula writing at all however, we may as well make 22 carbon copies of the first essay that is turned in and give that to your readers to grade!  Take the time to brainstorm WITH your kids as much as possible as well, so that they can write about going to DIFFERENT places and doing DIFFERENT things while you are there, and ending with a bang, not a Gong!  
  

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Classroom Posters on Pinterest

Did you know "The Writing Doctor" (aka Bill MacDonald) has a board on Pinterest?
Well, he does, so go check it out!
It really is a quick, easy way to browse through the many language arts classroom posters and other teaching aids and an convenient way to share them also.

Writing Doctor on Pinterest

Test your students' ability to write a focused essay.

The organizational strategy your students use improves their ability to present ideas clearly and effectively.  This exercise will allow you to test their ability to write a focused essay in a fixed amount of time.

On Your Mark. Get Set. Stop! 
Timed writing responses are one quick way to test a students ability to write a focused paper.  It is similar to Sustained Silent Reading, (S.S.R.) only the children are writing until the time runs out instead of reading. Give them a prompt or topic to
write about and explain the goal: to keep writing on the topic as long as possible without switching to another point or different focus. This activity forces them to learn to develop an idea completely without getting sidetracked by extraneous information that adds no depth to their writing. The winner is the student with the most writing that sustains the purpose
and builds one sentence upon the other without getting off-topic.

Encouraging higher level vocabulary from your students

Word Bank 
As you read your students' papers, you will come across several compositions that use higher level vocabulary instead of the easy to write, low level words. Each time you find one of these words, and it is used correctly in context, the student has passed the part of
vocabulary that has to do with application. For these students, you can use the idea of extrinsic motivation by writing their names on the back of tickets and placing them inside the "Word Bank". Every week or so, have a raffle and give some sort of prize to the students whose names you pull out of the bank. (whatever is appropriate for your class).  After just a few weeks, you will notice a tremendous increase in the amount of higher vocabulary that they are choosing.
A caution here is to be sure the words make sense and fit where they're placed. In my own classroom, I also gave out bonus tickets for the first person quiet, for homework completed, or any other important classroom procedure that students were following, or things I wanted to reinforce as a teacher.
~Bill MacDonald, The Writing Doctor